Tuesday, April 21, 2009

High Anxiety

We are about to start week 25 of this triplet pregnancy journey. The babies will be here before we know it. On one hand that can be kinda scary. We know that our new trio will bring all kinds of joy but will also bring a whole new kinda work and stress into our lives.

We were both more than ready nine months ago for a baby. Or at least as ready as you can be. I have labeled myself a professional worrier on more than one occasion. If only. It sure would be nice to be paid for something I'm so good at. Anyway, we weren't ready for the doctor to tell us we were having triplets.

The thing is, I'm not worried, I know we'll be ok. I'm anxious as hell though. I'm anxious to know when they will be here, will they be able to come home quickly, how will we manage holidays and grandparents and trips to the stores, first bikes, first crushes, proms, cars and graduations. I'm anxious to see how we will do without Angela's paycheck until the kids go to school and Angela can go back to work.

I really do think that is different than fear. I know all that will work out, I'm just anxious to see how it will work out. Being afraid of running 3 two year old boys through a Chili's knowing they will wreak havoc on everyone in the joint is different than wondering how we'll make it an enjoyable experience for all. Isn't it?

I had to laugh at myself the other day, now that Angela has been put on bed rest and is no longer working, I've had to step up a bit around the house. I was already doing just about everything but now I just do it all day instead of just after work. The other night I sat down after a long day of keeping the house running and wondered how I did it. Wow that was a lot of work I told myself. What made it funny to me is that what I just did was nothing compared to what we'll be doing in just a few months.

Working all week, including driving Angela to and from work, to and from the doctor, fixing dinners, cleaning the house, doing yard work, doing laundry and dishes, sorting through shower gifts and putting them away seemed like a real busy week to me.

Who am I kidding, once the boys are home things will be much different. Sure Angela and I will split up most of what I listed but now we'll have to keep the boys fed, changed and happy which will be a chore we know will be overwhelming at times.

I haven't seen anything yet.

Oh did I mention that now twice a day we put Angela on a fetal monitor that measures contractions. I set it up, strap her in and an hour later unstrap her and hook the monitor to the phone line where it sends the data to a nurse. Several tense minutes later a nurse calls to tell us if everything is ok.

Our 2nd full day on the monitor was also the last time we went to the multiples specialist who performed a cervix check. We came home and put her on the monitor and when the nurse called she said Angela had too many contractions and to run the monitor again. Same thing, run it a 3rd time but before you do, run to the pharmacy (take Angela with you because she needs the pill right away, it can't wait for you to make the 15 minute drive home). We run it a 3rd time and they say, oh, did you have a cervix check today? You shouldn't have run the monitor today, that skews the results.

Thanks for telling us that now.

The thing is, once again I wasn't afraid that this was it and it was time to head to the hospital, the boys were coming. I was anxious to see if this was it but I wasn't afraid. Had they been born on Friday I know it would have been a tough road but I also know everybody would be fine.

I do think it's fair to say that I'm glad they aren't here yet only because I still have some painting to do. I'm anxious to see how I'll pull that off as well. I may actually be afraid of screwing that up though only because at some point Angela will be able to go up the stairs again and she is very particular about those things.


  1. I found your blog on the Donaho's site so I will be following your progress and keeping you in my prayers. I know you will be great parents. Miss seeing you at church on Sundays!

    Judy Johnson

  2. Judy,

    Thank you very much.

    Yea, we are both pretty bummed that Angela isn't allowed to go anywhere anymore. I will probably still come to church when I can but it may not be the 11 am service. I may try to sneak out early while she is sleeping so I can be back when she gets up.

    She's not completely helpless but the doc would like her to be, much to her chagrin.

    Again, thanks for your prayers.