Saturday, March 21, 2009

I'm Starting to Freak Myself Out

We are now at 20 1/2 weeks of what we hope is a 34 week journey. We keep getting told that the average gestation with triplets is 32 weeks but our goal is 34 with a max of 35. (Single pregnancies are 40).

We are getting closer and I'm starting to freak out a bit, uhm, a little bit, uhm, a whole lot. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the boys to be born but that's not what has me worried these days. What has me worried is that we make our goal and that we do everything possible to make sure that happens.

I keep reading on the triplet connection about how a lot of moms pregnant with triplets are on bed rest at this point, some even on hospital bed rest. They talk about how quickly their pregnancy went from all's well to holy crap you are going into the hospital for 3 months. Take it easy is probably the most typed phrase in those threads.

Last week our doctor told us everything was great and there is no need to worry. I wish it was that easy.

Angela bends over to pick a shoe up and I freak out. Go sit down! I have no problem doing housework, now I'm not very good at a lot of it but I don't mind doing it. Well, Angela does mind me doing it for several reasons, one she feels good enough that she thinks she should be contributing and 2 she is the female version of Adrian Monk. When I fold clothes the shirts aren't exactly to her liking, when I vacuum, I don't hit the corners quite like I should. That stuff drives her nuts.

This past week was her spring break so she was at home resting for the most part. She gets real tired and moving around has become more of an issue lately. It's tough for her to get up, roll over and things like that.

I'm worried about her going back to work on Monday, making the 1 hour drive each way and teaching high school 5 days a week. I think I should drive her to and from work but I can't quite figure out how me driving will help her too much.

I announced this week that I am about to become the world's #1 jerk where this is concerned and I am going to get angry at her for overdoing it. My first edict was to ban after school activities like shopping. She must come home after school and rest.

I was asked a few weeks ago about why we didn't want Angela to go on bed rest. One of the threads on the triplet connection is about how people who have never had triplets don't quite understand the severity of bed rest. There are stories on there about how people say, well, let's go out for an hour, your doctor doesn't need to know.

I completely understand that bed rest doesn't mean that the world is ending but it does mean that there are some serious concerns about whether or not the babies will cook as much as they need to. Not to mention the fact that her paychecks will stop or that Angela will go insane if she isn't allowed to do anything for a few months.

Angela calls me a nazi in how strict I'm starting to be on her but I just can't justify in my mind how walking upstairs to change the sheets on the guest bed is worth going on bed rest starting at our appointment next week.

As a professional worrier, I think I set an all time high when I woke up yesterday. I was a mess. Then I got word that 2 of my best friends, whom I've known for 20 years lost their father overnight. As I tried in vain to figure out how to help them anyway I could I realized they have real worries. Concerns that they have to deal with right now. I would think that in the coming days they will re-think events of the past few months and wonder if things could have been done differently. I think they both did everything they could but I would imagine the questions will be there.

I don't want that to happen to Angela and I.

Last night Angela's teacher friends had a get together that I was nervous about. It was to be held outside near a pond in the backyard of one of her teacher friends. The terrain was a bit rough and I was concerned Angela might fall or just spend too much time on her feet, helping in the kitchen, that type of thing.

It didn't take me too long to realize that I might be the head Nazi but there were several others who could use the title as well. They were constantly telling her to take it easy. It made me relax a bit. Angela understands that she has to take it easy. Her body is telling her that much more than she'd like.

I just need to take a breath and trust that we will hit our goal. Easier typed than done but I am going to give it my best shot. But if you happen to see Angela in the next few weeks and she seems to be active, if you'd throw a "go sit down" her way, it would make me very happy.

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